


Drunken History

by Ein_Nachkussen



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Attraction, Comedy, Cute, Drunk History - Freeform, Humor, Kinda Fluffy, M/M, Romance, drunken rambling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 08:25:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11985996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ein_Nachkussen/pseuds/Ein_Nachkussen
Summary: When Arthur is invited to film an episode of Comedy Central's 'Drunk History', he didn't expect all of his attention to be stolen by one gorgeous cameraman.





	Drunken History

Getting invited to participate in ‘Drunk History’, was the break in his career that Arthur had been waiting for, he was ecstatic, overjoyed, he was so excited to get drunk and ramble about history for a national audience. And it was the American series, no less: the BIG ONE. His name is going to be all over Comedy Central and this could really make or break his career. Sure, he has gotten some comedy gigs in America before, but nothing as big as THE Comedy Central! This was big for him, and he was going to take advantage of the opportunity. He was honestly amazed that he had gotten the offer in the first place. 

As Arthur read the episode criteria, his smile widened: he was going to be telling the story of Bonnie and Clyde, the infamous lovers and criminals, a love story for the ages! The perfect mixture of crime, drama and romance, and something that Arthur can easily add a comedic twist to; with the help of whiskey.  
And so now, Arthur had to do his research on the famous couple, and in all honestly; he was surprised that he didn’t get a story about the revolutionary war or something that involved England, considering his nationality. But he supposed that he could make this work, Bonnie and Clyde have always been fascinating to him, they’re a story of being in love while running from the law- where the threat of being arrested and separated haunted them. Granted, they did do some awful things and they ultimately met their end in a violent way: they still had a love for each other that many people romanticise and look for. 

Someone to go with you to the very end, no matter what. 

Arthur was going to take this story, memorise it, get incredibly drunk and then retell it for the cameras in all his drunken glory. Arthur knows that he’s hilarious when drunk, according to the testimonies of his friends, and he’s funny when he’s not drunk according to the testimonies of his audience. 

Before he knew it, Arthur was being welcomed into the setting of the show, a couch was set up in the middle of the room, with a small coffee table sitting to the side. In front of this was a collection of cameras and stage lights that were being set up by people in black uniforms.

“Hello, Arthur; we’re glad you could make it, are you ready for tonight?” The producer asked as he shook Arthur’s hand with a wide smile on his face. 

“Oh, I’m excited, I’ve wanted to do this for ages!” Arthur explained as the producer started to lead him past the crew as they set up the cameras and lights. Instantly, a loud laugh caught Arthur’s attention as he made his way past the crew, and couldn’t help but glance over and investigate. And he’s glad that he did. 

The man who laughed confidently had obviously earned that confidence. He had the smile of an Oscar winner, flawless sun-kissed skin, golden hair and bright blue eyes, he was stunning… Just from hearing him laugh, Arthur could tell that this bright young man had the confidence of a high school jock with the face of a Disney Prince. He was youthful, fit and oozing pride and confidence, even the way he stood with his hands planted firmly on his hips. Arthur had to admit, he liked what he saw… He really liked what he saw. But sadly, he couldn’t linger on the young man for too long, before he knew it, Arthur was in another room where the makeup chair had been set up.  
After being offered some food by the production assistant, Arthur sat down in the makeup chair and started to be worked on by the young makeup artist. 

“So, you’re talking about Bonne and Clyde?” The young artist asked, revealing a thick Italian accent, which made sense, considering that his name tag read ‘Feliciano’. “Is their story interesting?”

“Very,” Arthur admitted, as he let the Italian brush power onto his face, “How’s this, they met at a diner where Bonnie worked in, and testimonies say that their love was instant. Instant attraction and they never looked the other way since. Which is funny, considering that Bonnie was technically married when she met Clyde, but let’s just forget about that abusive husband of hers. She sure did, rightly so, he was an absolute dick. She married at sixteen and they just never went through with the divorce.” 

“Hah!” Feliciano chuckled, “I never knew that she was married.” 

“Mm, but, Bonnie and Clyde were a pretty cute couple, I’m not going to lie. But they did do really bad things, and they got what was coming to them,” Arthur explained. 

“How did they die again?” Feliciano asked, “They were shot, right?” 

“Oh, ‘shot’ doesn’t even come close. They were killed under a rain of gunfire, brutal stuff,” Arthur explained. 

“Hello, hello, hello! Someone has a big night ahead of them!” A loud and confident voice boomed as a man waltzed into the room, immediately catching Arthur’s attention, whose chest tightened when he realised it was the man he stared at earlier. The gorgeous, tall, blonde American, was now smiling at Alfred widely, revealing his perfect teeth and speaking with a smooth midwestern accent, Arthur hadn’t been in America long enough to pinpoint exactly where. “I’m doing the booze run tonight, so pick your poison.” 

“Hm…” Arthur murmured, trying to not appear as shaken as he felt. He couldn’t put his finger on it, what was it about this young man that made him so attractive to Arthur? The way he smiled at Arthur sent a powerful shiver down his spine, and Arthur didn’t know how to take it. “Whiskey, and perhaps some wine.” 

“White or red?” The American asked. 

“Red, thanks.” 

“Classy, I like it,” He chuckled, as he started to walk away, still smiling at Arthur with that wide smile and bright blue eyes. “I’ll be back with your stuff in around 20 minutes, the producer told me to tell you to brush up on your studying, it’s all gonna go down the toilet once you start drinking.” 

“Who was he…?” Arthur asked as he returned his attention to Feliciano. 

“Shit… Um… I’m awful with names, he’s new. He’s assisting one of the camera-guys, I thiiink…” Feliciano murmured as he continued to press his brush into some powder. “He’s a pretty nice guy.” 

“Right,” Arthur murmured as he sat still to allow Feliciano to brush more powder onto his face, “I should let you know, I go really red in the face when I drink.” 

“Why do you think I’m putting so much powder on you?” Feliciano chuckled, “Don’t worry, the lights will also mask that. The last lady we had here went as red as a tomato, so there were constant touch-ups.” 

“Oh, then it’ll be fine!” Arthur chuckled, “So, how long have you been working for the show?” 

“I’m fairly new compared to the others, I started around… seven months ago,” Feliciano explained, “Time flies when you’re having fun!” 

“Well, I’m sure that time’ll speed up for me tonight,” Arthur chuckled.

\-----

“After half of a bottle of red wine, three glasses of whiskey and two shots of vodka, Arthur Kirkland is going to tell us the story of Bonnie and Clyde,” The producer explained, and the camera focussed on Arthur. 

Arthur was absolutely fucked, shit-faced, plastered, all slang for being drunk beyond sanity. Arthur had to drink so much because of his amazing alcohol tolerance, but now he feels like that’s come back to bite him. He could feel the heat spreading throughout his cheeks, and he felt slightly dizzy and giddy, he felt like as soon as he started talking: there was no way he was going to be able to stop himself. Arthur smiled widely and leant back against the couch with a glass of whisky in his hand, his third.

“Well!” Arthur started, crossing his legs, “Shit, where do I start?’ 

“When did Bonnie and Clyde meet?” The producer asked. 

“RIGHT!” Arthur started, suddenly falling on the right track, and suddenly all the information came back to him, now he understood why he needed to continue studying while he drank, literally everything he knew went down the toilet. “The year was 1930 and a Bonnie Parker was working in a diner in Dallas, Texas,” Arthur explained before he lifted his finger, talking as though he was telling the story exclusively to the producer, “AND THEN, this young stuuuddd, Clyde Barrow comes into the diner, and she’s like ‘oh my god, he’s so hoooooot!’ and he felt the same about her! It was love at first sight! Cute love hearts n’shit!” 

Arthur adjusted himself slightly in the couch before continuing, he could feel his accent getting thicker as he spoke, perhaps that was a part of the comedy “But Clyde was a bit more than your classic bad-boy, like, this guy! This fucking guy! Not long after they started dating, Clyde got arrested and thrown in jail for auto-theft! But Bonnie was like ‘Clyde! I love you! I don’t want to be without you while you are in prison!’ and he’s like ‘Sneak my gun in for me! And I’ll get out and we can be together!’ and Bonnie’s like ‘OK!’ and she does! She sneaks a fucking gun into the prison in her skirt when she visited Clyde!” Arthur explained, “In the eyes of the law, she’s just as bad as him now! She crossed the line for this lad! So, Clyde got out of prison because of Bonnie’s help and they’re on the run. Bonnie’s mother of course is like ‘you can’t have this fuckiin guy staying here, he just broke out of prison! You silly, silly girl!’ but they’re in love, so they don’t give a flying fuck about what Bonnie’s mother thinks. But this doesn’t last long anyway, because Clyde is caught literally a week later and sentenced to 14 years of HARD LABOUR, boo-boo the fool.”

And then, the young man returned into Arthur’s line of sight… and the attraction became so much worse, and Arthur noticed more details about him that he hadn’t before. Like how muscular his arms looked in that black polo, how cute his hair looked when pressed under a headset. He fist-bumped the current cameraman and took his place. 

“Fuck…” Arthur gasped. 

He was transfixed on the man behind the camera and he stared at it with such intensity, the room had gone quiet.  
Arthur felt his chest tighten and hands become clammy; he lost all train of thought and focussed only on him, even though he could barely see him from where he stood from behind the large camera.  
Arthur felt himself go extremely red, it felt like he’s been quiet for so uncomfortably long… 

Arthur wondered, could this be what Bonnie felt when she saw Clyde for the first time? 

He felt hot, and he’s sure that this wasn’t just from the alcohol. Arthur wriggled where he sat, because he could feel the young man stare at him through the camera, what would he be thinking right now…? 

“Arthur, is everything ok?” The producer asked, and Arthur was finally pulled away from his fixture on the man behind the camera, and back to what was going on around him. 

“Yes, yes, I’m so sorry, I just—that guy behind the camera here,” Arthur began, lazily pointing to the camera that he knew the man was standing behind. After hearing this, Arthur saw him peek out from the side of the camera, staring at Arthur with an anxious glare, probably thinking that he had done something wrong. Even now, he looked so cute... “I… I think you’re so unbearably hot. Like, oh my God. How are you this hot? I’m so sorry, I just had to tell you this. Please don’t take this the wrong way – you’re so good looking, you steal my attention every time I see you, like… fuckinnnn… you're so hot.. like, you're proper fit. Like... uugghhh...” 

Instantly, everyone went silent, as everyone focussed on the interaction between the two. Arthur was slipping further and further into his spell, and his lack of filter wasn’t helping Arthur’s situation. “I—I get if you have a girlfriend, cuties like you don’t stay single for long—mmmmm, boy, you're cute—oh fuck, I’m sorry, you’re just so hot! Look at you! Fuck! Haaaaaaa... I'm sorry, I just get lost looking at you, God, how are you so fucking gorgeous? Oh my Gooood... You're so beautiful...” Arthur was smiling widly at the American, struggling to sit up straight, hell: he had never been less straight in his entire life, all because of this beautiful young man.  
It took a couple of chuckled from the man’s co-workers for Arthur to remember that he had an audience, and he had a job to do. “RIGHT! FUCK! Bonnie and Clyde, I’m sorry for that!!” 

“No, no, it’s fine!” The producer chuckled, having been one of those who laughed at Arthur’s confession, “Filming these always take time because of distractions, we’ve just never seen one like this.” 

“Haaaa….” Arthur chuckled, his cheeks burning bright red as he looked anywhere but at the camera where that beautiful man was standing. And all Arthur could do was pray that he hasn’t caused too many problems. 

It’s not like he’s ever going to see him again after filming is over. 

\---- 

The next morning, Arthur woke with the headache he expected. He rolled over in his bed, cursing the light that crept in from the gaps in his curtains, flooding his bedroom. Although he was lying still in the middle of his bed, he felt as though the world was spinning around him, he wanted to be sick. 

And then the memories came back.  
While the rest of his night filming for Drunk History continued without an issue, the reality of what he said to that man behind the camera. How he lost control long enough to let his feelings spill. 

“Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…” Arthur growled as he rolled over and pressed his face into his drool stained pillow. That was BEYOND embarrassing! He was at least thankful that he hadn’t shared too many details about how he felt about him, at least Arthur didn’t say that he watched that man prop a camera onto a tripod and thought ‘God, I wish that were me.’ Thank God for that!! --- Or did he?! Shit, was he drunk enough to not remember things!? Arthur rolled over again and started at the ceiling, catching a glimpse of the clock on the wall, astonished to see that he had slept in all the way to 11:30am. He must have slept like a rock after getting home. He does remember hardly being able to walk when he first left the set of the show. 

Suddenly, a memory came back to him… He was staggering out of the room, with the producer helping him avoid running into walls. He caught a glimpse of the crew finishing their clean up, and there he was, staring at Arthur as he was being guided away. He was smiling at him… 

Arthur’s eyes widened when he heard the sound of his phone vibrating against the wood of his bedside table, Arthur rolled over far enough to reach over and grab it after a small struggle.  
He had gotten a text from an unknown number… And as Arthur read the message, he felt his heart race beyond control. 

‘Hey, how’s your head feeling?  
I’m the guy who was behind the camera, you know, the one you called hot.  
I got your phone number from the producer, and I was wondering whether you wanted to go and get coffee sometime?’ 

Arthur’s eyes widened as his hands trembled so hard, he almost dropped his phone when a second text came through. 

‘Also, my name's Alfred.’


End file.
